Customer: If I buy three books, do I get a discount?
Me: No, but you do get the satisfaction of owning three books.
Me: *answers ringing phone* Good afternoon, XYZ Bookstore. How can I help you?
Customer: I got a message from you guys that my books are in, so I’ve called up to give you the address to mail them to.
Me: Certainly. What’s the address?
Customer: … umm…err….hmm… I wrote it down and now I can’t find it. I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
Me: *answers ringing phone* Good morning, XYZ Bookshop. How can I help you?
Customer: Hang on, I’m about to sneeze. I’ll call you back. *hangs up*
Me: *answers phone* Good Morning. XYZ Bookstore. How can I help you?
Customer: Are you open Monday – Wednesday and Fridays 9am to 5:30pm, Thursdays 9am to 9pm, Saturdays 9am to 5pm, and Sundays 10am to 5pm?
Customer: Ok, thanks. Bye. *hangs up*
Me: *looks blankly at telephone*
Customer: Do you have ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’?
Me: Our database shows we should have one copy, but it’s not on the shelf. Unfortunately, this means it has gone missing, probably stolen.
Customer: *laughing* Well, I guess you could say a Grinch stole ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’.
*Customer shows me a picture of a rather old book on his phone*
Customer: I saw this book in your store 6 years ago. Do you still have it?
Female Customer: Do you have [erotic/romance author] Sylvia Day’s fourth book?
Me: Yes, it was just released. They’re over here.
Female Customer: Have you read them?
Me: No I haven’t.
Female Customer: You should. They’re really good. Maybe a little too good.
Me: *looks at customer quizzically*
Female Customer: Let’s just say, I have 3 kids, and I have read her previous 3 books…
Me: … wow ….
8-year-old kid: *points to top shelf* ‘Scuse me, can you get that book for me please?
8-year-old kid: How old are you?
Me: *reaching for book* How old do you think I am?
8-year-old kid: *thinks for a moment* 40.
Me: *Stops mid-reach and withdraws hand* No book for you.
8-year-old kid: NO! Wait! 45!…50?
I am 25.
Customer: Are fiction books real or not real? I can never remember.
Customer: Hi. Sorry are you busy? Can you help me?
Me: Sure! What can I do for you?
Customer: Um, do you sell books here?