Category Archives: Things Customers Say In Book Stores

Can’t Get No Satisfaction…

Customer: If I buy three books, do I get a discount?

Me: No, but you do get the satisfaction of owning three books.

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Where Do I Live Again?

Me: *answers ringing phone* Good afternoon, XYZ Bookstore. How can I help you?

Customer: I got a message from you guys that my books are in, so I’ve called up to give you the address to mail them to.

Me: Certainly. What’s the address?

Customer: … umm…err….hmm… I wrote it down and now I can’t find it. I’ll call you back. *hangs up*

The Pointless Call

Me: *answers phone* Good Morning. XYZ Bookstore. How can I help you?

Customer: Are you open Monday – Wednesday and Fridays 9am to 5:30pm, Thursdays 9am to 9pm, Saturdays 9am to 5pm, and Sundays 10am to 5pm?

Me: Yes.

Customer: Ok, thanks. Bye. *hangs up*

Me: *looks blankly at telephone*

‘Tis the Season…

Customer: Do you have ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’?

Me: Our database shows we should have one copy, but it’s not on the shelf. Unfortunately, this means it has gone missing, probably stolen.

Customer: *laughing* Well, I guess you could say a Grinch stole ‘The Grinch Who Stole Christmas’.

Too Much Information…

Female Customer: Do you have [erotic/romance author] Sylvia Day’s fourth book?

Me: Yes, it was just released. They’re over here.

Female Customer: Have you read them?

Me: No I haven’t.

Female Customer: You should. They’re really good. Maybe a little too good.

Me: *looks at customer quizzically*

Female Customer: Let’s just say, I have 3 kids, and I have read her previous 3 books…

Me: … wow ….

With Age Comes Wisdom…

8-year-old kid: *points to top shelf* ‘Scuse me, can you get that book for me please?
Me: Sure!
8-year-old kid: How old are you?
Me: *reaching for book* How old do you think I am?
8-year-old kid: *thinks for a moment* 40.
Me: *Stops mid-reach and withdraws hand* No book for you.
8-year-old kid: NO! Wait! 45!…50?

I am 25.